STOOPS VERSUS PORCHES

"Nowadays the host does not admit you to his hearth, but has got the mason to build one for yourself somewhere in his alley, and hospitality is the art of keeping you at the greatest distance."

-Henry David Thoreau

Saturday, November 23rd

  

Our great adventure started out the way that all great adventures begin….with a really long ride.

10 hour drive to Washington DC.  

10 hour flight to Istanbul.  

1 hour drive through Istanbul traffic.  

1 hour Ferry Ride.  

And finally…a 1 hour drive to our sweet destination,  Orhangazi, a beautiful rural district of  Bursa.   

Did I mention that I could not sleep on the plane?  There was just something about having restroom aisle seats that kept pulling me back to consciousness.  

It could have been a grueling trip. I have to tell you, though, that good friends can make even the longest trip a sweet thing.  Besides the fact that we had the company of wonderful friends on a direct flight to Istanbul, I can tell you two very specific things from our travel that I will always be grateful for.

• First, I did not retch on the ferry boat.

• Secondly, our car did NOT fall into the cavernous pit that a construction company had recently and ever so precisely placed along the path to Yeliz's home.  It had been a long day.  That would NOT have been the ideal way to wrap it up!

The beautiful home of our hosts,  Mustafa and Fatma Bagdat

We had finally arrived.  And what a relief it was to be welcomed into that home!  Kaan's very good friend, Can (pronounced John for my American friends!),  had graciously picked us up from the airport, and had safely deposited us into the welcoming arms of Yeliz's parents, Mustafa and Fatma Bagdat.  I was blown away by the lavish feast waiting for us!  Stuffed grape leaves, olives gathered from the trees in the yard, fresh salad and homemade yogurt.  And so much more!  It was at dinner that first night that I was introduced to my favorite Turkish staple...Tea.  Hot tea in charming tiny glasses served on ornate silver platters.  All day long.  Every day.  Everywhere.  I quickly learned that if you are breathing, someone is serving tea to someone within arms length of you.  And I am pretty certain that even if you are NOT breathing, they are still serving tea to someone within arms length of you.  

The unbelievable breakfast prepared for us by Mustafa and Fatma Bagdat each morning.

Mustafa peeling freshly collected chestnuts for us.

Sweet, beautiful Fatma

Our long travel had finally come to a sweet conclusion.    Our kind hosts could not speak English, and sadly, we could not speak Turkish, so after many smiley head nods and hand gestures, we were thoughtfully ushered into the living room to sleep.  It was at this point that I became aware of the second common thread in Turkey...

Living Rooms by day transform into bedrooms at night.  Interestingly, in every Turkish home we visited (and I count six homes that kindly welcomed us in for tea), we realized that the rooms were all set up in a similar way.  In one house in particular, I counted nine couches that could be transformed into nine beds in three separate living areas. Homes are structured for the sole purpose of inviting people in.  They are the meeting places that our spacious front porches used to be. In Turkey, personal space holds a back burner to making your home a welcome place for friends and family to hold court.  I like that.  That is one of my favorite lessons from our time there.  

We live in a country where our personal space is held in such high regard.  Our porches are now merely stoops.  Barely big enough to open the door and welcome someone inside.  Our doors and windows are closed, curtains drawn tight.  When we play…it is always in the backyard.  

Really, it is no surprise that we are all tucked neatly inside, texting our friends and liking their comments on Facebook.  What would it look like if we all opened our doors and sat on the front porch in case a friend or neighbor walked by?  Maybe we would actually get out and walk around our neighborhood if we thought we would pass more than just closed doors.  

What if we gave up some of our hard earned personal space to make room for the rest of the world?